You're a Redneck if:
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You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.
There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look
nice.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
Your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix
it.
Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.
Your wife's hairdo attracts bees.
The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
You pick your teeth from a catalog.
You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off
it.
In an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.
Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
You fish in your above-ground pool. . . and catch something.
On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the
tractor.
Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police!"
In tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?"
Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
You think Old Yeller is a movie about your brother's tooth.
Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
Motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
Your wife has ever torn her hose on the boogers stuck under the front of the
pickup seat.
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Hey, Smile, it's Friday!
(Visit promiselandchurch.net and theexperience238.com.)
Pastor Kenneth Phillips
(He's spreading Joy all over the world)
PromiseLand Church, Austin, Texas
Services Sunday 10:30 am and Wednesday 7:15 pm
~~~~~~~Live Streaming~~~~~~~
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